Last year I was asked to go and speak at a sheltered housing forum. The housing association which invited me were really keen to get the message out there that there are older LGBT people too, and it was keen to get that message to some of its members who had some strong views on the subject. The talk went well, I felt, the membership (all of whom were 65+) sat and listened intently when I explained that as the generations get older we will see more and more LGBT people in sheltered housing and nursing homes, and it was important to consider them in how those services are delivered. I then opened up the floor for questions and comments. One man declared my visit to them an absolute travesty, that I, as a gay man, made him sick and that I was full of sin. He wanted to lodge a formal complaint with the housing association who had asked me to come and speak. Luckily I was able to hold my composure and thank him for feeling he was in a safe enough environment to express his views. The irony of it, of course, was that he was proving the very point I was trying to make with my talk. There were around 40 people in the room, none of them were waving rainbow flags so I was 100% certain if any of them were LGB or T, but if they were I immediately put myself in that person's shoes. Imagine being closeted in a place that you call home, only to hear someone share such extreme views. That must feel wretched.
"Older gay men and women in the UK have lived through positive changes in public attitudes. Yet when you are brought up to believe you are unnatural, age doesn’t always help you take advantage of social changes.
These days young gay people are encouraged to be open about their sexuality. Older ones, particularly those who don’t have a partner, can find it difficult to share in their new freedom. Some are understandably still fearful of verbal and physical abuse. Unlike their straight peers, they may have no family of even understanding friends to shield them from loneliness. They deserve our support" - Sir Ian McKellen
These days young gay people are encouraged to be open about their sexuality. Older ones, particularly those who don’t have a partner, can find it difficult to share in their new freedom. Some are understandably still fearful of verbal and physical abuse. Unlike their straight peers, they may have no family of even understanding friends to shield them from loneliness. They deserve our support" - Sir Ian McKellen
Older people often get forgotten about in this country. I, for one, want not only the older generation recognised and valued for what they offer society but more specifically older LGBT people having a voice and sharing their stories. So often they remain hidden and assumed heterosexual by those who come into contact with them. I have even heard stories of home carers offering to pray for their gay clients and their sinful lives. Those stories terrify me. Care services need to act now and improve their offer for older LGBT people, otherwise they risk alienating them and making lives difficult to live openly. Opening Doors in London are doing some great work, I would like to see this approach across the board. More needs to be done to ensure older LGBT people have a voice, and our younger LGBT generation needs to reach out to them. I don't want to live in a world where people have to live in fear, and at the moment many of our older generation are.
Below you can watch the excellent film made by Opening Doors London, with some of our older LGBT brothers and sisters sharing their stories.
Below you can watch the excellent film made by Opening Doors London, with some of our older LGBT brothers and sisters sharing their stories.